Olivia's POV
by mia66
Summary: This story was originally name, Refection's Olivia's POV I changed this from a one chapter story to four. “El, I’m fine! Nothing happen, I told you that already and you should go home to your wife and kids, instead of coming over here” Please don't go
1. Chapter 1

They belong to DW ans NBC, I just borrow them

They belong to DW ans NBC, I just borrow them.

Olivia's point of view **after Undercover**.

Thanks to **Lexi **(AP) for your help editing and correcting the spell, wording and other mistakes.

Same story just a few corrections here and there.

**Scene: **Melinda's Lab and what I wished we could have seen in that last scene, just for the fact that Olivia needed a little more of support, in my opinion and after watching the last glimpse of the scene, when Melinda moves towards Liv.

**Be aware of spoilers if you haven't seen this episode**.

Please be kind English is my second language.(not proof read)

-

"Olivia. Did he rape you?"

The words echo in my mind and the whole realization of how close it got hit me straight in the gut.

How close I came to losing my self, how close I came to becoming another victim, how close I came to becoming a corpse on one of Melinda's slabs, 'cause there was no other way of me getting out of that basement.

No way in hell I would have allowed Harris to make me do what he wanted me to do - to let him do what he did to all of those women, to Ashley and her mother.

I would have fought him till the end. _"If you bite me, you're dead"_

His words keep repeating in my ears and I know then that was the only way for me that I would have come out of there.

I feel the bitter taste of bile rise to my throat and I feel the need to breathe, to run and never have to think about the last few days for a long, long time.

George warned me, he tried to tell me what I was exposing my self to, and how I could feel, but nothing could have prepared me for how I feel right now.

I look back at Melinda and look into her dark, concerned eyes. I can see the sorrow in them, the hesitation, but also the anger and anguish when she asked, thinking that the unthinkable had happened.

I feel the tears shine in my eyes, getting ready to pour down my face, down my cheeks, in their attempt to clean and erase my pain, and the shame that I feel, that I'm still feeling. The only thing I manage to do is divert my eyes before giving her an answer.

If Fin hadn't gotten there when he did…I just… I don't want to think about it. I don't want to allow my mind to think of the repercussions if he hadn't been there for me. I know he feels guilty for not getting to me sooner, I know I have to talk to him and tell him that I'll be fine. Eventually.

I have to talk to Elliot and Don, they are concerned about me and for me, I can see it in their eyes and in the way they talk when asking me something, they are probably thinking that this has broken me... in a way it did.

There was a moment when I thought that I couldn't fight any more, but then I did fight back. Shackled to that door I still fought him off.

But how can I let them know that Harris had managed to reduce me to tears?

Fin is the only witness of that, eventually they'll find out. I'm sure of that. Harris would make sure of it.

How can I tell them that I begged him to stop, to let me go, to not touch me, and still keep their respect and their acknowledgment that I'm still able to do my work, that I'm still able to face the perpetrators and keep helping the victims?

I know I'm thinking irrationally at the moment, because I know they would never think less of me or what I am still capable of doing … but still, the shame is greater than rationality right now.

That's why I'd rather throw my self at work and do what I do best, ignore the pain and try to run and hide behind my armor, my walls of defense, hide under the facade of Detective Benson and bury any trace of Olivia at the moment, because that's what I need right now, that's what will allow me to move on and put all this behind me.

I keep telling myself that it was worth it, that we managed to put a rapist behind bars, that in a way we brought justice to Ashley and her mom and all those other women that never got a chance to tell their part of the story. it was worth it and that gives me a little positive thinking over the ugliness, over the shame.

I look back at Melinda, and the only thing I manage is _" It's the closest I've ever come."_

Still felling the piercing burn of tears in my eyes, still feeling dirty, dirty by a heartless man's actions, still feeling hurt and skittish, still feeling lost.

Suddenly her arms are around me and she is hugging me and comforting me and giving me some warmth, some respite. I feel my walls crashing down and I found myself returning the hug, and it is at that moment that I don't feel lost anymore.

-

You know? I would appreciate your thoughts.


	2. Melinda's POV

**They belong to DW and NBC**

**If you haven seen "Undercover" be aware lost of spoilers form that episode here.**

**Thanks to LegaspiWeaver, for her help on the spelling and correcting some sentences.**

**This is the continuation of Resilience or Olivia's POV. It is a the first of three chapters, but I suggest you read that one first.**

**Melinda's point of view..and something more**

**Same scene: Melinda's lab.**

"You want to talk about it?"

"I don't know what compels me to ask the question, if there is one thing I really know, is that Olivia doesn't like for people to ask or prod into her life or about her feelings, but I need to know, I have to know, so I can push her to seek help, so I can help her if only in the fact that she'll know I am here for her."

"Some times this stubborn side of hers can really bug me, 'cause I know she doesn't want to look weak in front of anybody, she is so used to deal with things her own way, a "gift" left from her mother and their complicated relationship, that even the smallest hint of doubt of defeat, she'll see as failure."

"Can't she see that we all need help from time to time? Can't she understand that we will be there for her, no matter what? Because we care for her? Because we love her?"

"I can see she is hurting, and I can't keep quiet, I can see she needs to talk about it and needs to let go, but she refuses, I can see she seems lost and scared, but she managed to hide it really well, especially in front of her partner and in presence of that pathetic excuse of a prison guard Harris."

"I'm still holding her in the embrace and I feel her body tense when I ask."

"Olivia, we all need to talk about what's bothering us, in order to let it go, is not weakness is just survival instinct" Her body, if possible, tenses even more, but then I feel a small tremor run down her spine and she is shaking.

"I can't" And she is about to cry.

"Yes you can" I encourage as I feel her pulling away.

"It's just.. I'm fine.. He didn't rape me.. He just.." And she keeps quiet.

"He just what?" I asked in a soft voice trying to reach her, trying to make her open up again.

She looks up again and as she steeps aside, trying to walk away from this conversation, trying to hide once more, as she walks away I challenged.

"If he didn't do anything to you, then why are you avoiding the subject? Why does it bother you so much?" My voice a little louder than what I wanted it to be.

She turns and there is a brief glimpse of anger in her eyes.

"I told you he didn't rape me!" She said again a little stronger this time, in a more Olivia's tone of voice, I just looked at her and I don't know what she sees in my eyes, but hers turn watery and sad.

The silence in the room is such, that we can heard the honking of a car on the street, there's no one in the room but her and I, and maybe that does the trick, or maybe it is that she really needs to let go.

"He threw me on a mattress.. A filthy mattress when he.. when he try for the first time.. But I got away.. I try to run, but my hands where handcuff behind my back and he was on the way.. He.. We struggled and he hit me.. He Kissed me.. forcefully. .I got away only to be thrown on to the mattress again.. Then.. I.. He Slammed me face first, against a wall and he try to forced himself on me again.. I keep struggling and making things difficult for him"

A disgusted frown appears on her face when she remembers this, and she needs to take a minute to compose herself, takes a second to breath in and exhale again, to calm herself down and she continues, walking pass me, facing the far wall, the wall were Elliot had been standing just minutes ago.

"He thought that I had given up or something, 'cause he made the mistake of taking the cuffs off my hands.. Saying something about been more comfortable.. I elbow him in the face as soon I felt my hands free.. That's how I gave him the scar.. And ran.. I just ran.. There was no way out, so I just look for a place to hide…that's what I did!.. I just hid.. Waiting for him to find me"

"Olivia.." I try to reason with her, that it was probably the smartest thing to do, she bought time for herself and for Fin to get to her, but she doesn't hear me as she keeps talking.

"He found me.. Eventually.. Asked me to come out of where I was hiding… and I did, there was no way out.. I asked him to take it easy almost in surrender.. But as soon I was near him.. He hit me with his baton.. Making me fall on the floor.. He was behind me.. On instinct a brought my arm back and hit him on the _"jewels"_ and I ran again.. I just keep screaming for somebody, someone to come and help me"

Her voice sounds anguished and scare, but then it turns terrified and teary.

"The door was locked, and I could feel him behind me.. I keep screaming and hitting on the door …when he got to me again.. I turned and that's when he punched me on the face.. Hard" She touches her left side and leaves her hand there.

"I..I fell to the floor again.. And I knew then…I knew there was no way out for me.. I knew he was going to do what he wanted.. And I couldn't do anything to stop him.. He cuffed me to the bars in the door..and..and" She stops and shakes her head turning staring to walk to the door.

"Olivia you fought him!" I said getting between her and her way out. "You fought him as hard as you could, the only way you could! He is taller and stronger, you where restrain and beaten, and even like that you managed to protect yourself from him, you did stop him!"

"NO!" she shakes her head and turns, giving her back to me. "When he cuffed me to the door.. I just gave up.. I just keep crying.. Repeating my self.. Telling him no.. To stop.. But he kept pushing my free hand out of the way.. He just unzipped his pants, while smiling.. And that's when _I saw it_.. That's when I realized what was about to happen.. And I scream harder.. I try to push him away.. He grabbed my hand.. I just.. I wasn't strong enough…He held my head on his hands and I keep crying.. I clench my teeth as hard as I could.. But I couldn't stop crying and yelling."

I was struck when her worlds reach my ears; I felt my stomach turn about to make me revisit my lunch that I had to look away before asking.

"Olivia did he..?.. Did he.."

"NO!.. no..That's when Fin got there.. I..I was.. I kept crying until Fin spoke, then try to compose my self.. I help my self up the door and just manage to said "Who's the bitch now" still crying."

She is shaking now and I can see that she's fighting to control the tears, her tears of frustration, pain and sorrow, but also of anger, and I find myself wanting to cry with her, for her.

"Olivia, you managed to save yourself" She denies it. "Yes! Fin got there in the right moment, when you couldn't do anything more, but you gave him a hard fight, he didn't break you, he didn't, he had the advantage over you, since the beginning, and even like that you managed to keep fighting him off."

"No, he got to me.. He.. If Fin hadn't gotten there in that moment, he would have made me do.."

"But he didn't.. And he couldn't because you fought him, you kept fighting him, telling him no"

"But I was weak, I…"

"He beat you up! He punched you on the face! And from the size and color of that bruise I'm amazed he didn't knock you off when he did it! He restrained you, when you were down, but you kept telling him no, and pushing him off! You fought him and you fought him hard!"

"I kept crying!" She voices.

"Who wouldn't?.. Tell me Olivia?.. What woman in her right mind, after experiencing what you did, wouldn't have a crying fit?" She tries to interrupt me, but I'm tired of seen her doubting herself, thinking least of herself and her abilities.

"Yes you are a Detective, a enforcer of the law, you are trained to protect others, but who protects you? Especially in the conditions you were? You are first and foremost a woman Liv! You are a woman, that experienced a traumatic event, not imposed on others, but on you."

"You are allowed to scream, cry and say no, those are just emotional outlets to protect ourselves, we all have them, and the reason we have them, is for us to use them, so we can let go of events that can break us or scar us for life, there is no weakness or failure in that!"

She turns and she is crying, soft sobs, rocking her body and tears rolling down her face.

"I was so scared.. I had never been so terrified in my life.. I.." She said, so soft that I can barely hear her.

I pull her into my arms again, letting her head, rest on my shoulder her arms dropped on her sides and I relax when she doesn't pull back.

"Oh Liv! It is natural.. Being scared and feeling out of control; But you'll manage to regain that back, with time you'll go back to being the strong and stubborn detective I know"

I feel her exhale and relaxing in the process.

"But for now you need to come to grips with what happen to you, but remember you are not alone Olivia, I'm here if you want to talk some more, and the guys are there for you, you just need to let us in, there is no weakness in asking for help, but it is foolish to think that we can deal with it on our own"

"Isn't that what you says to your victims?" I asked when she pulls back and looks at me.

'I'm not a victim" She said, not too strong this time, a sad smile on her face.

"Maybe not a victim of rape, but a victim of physical abuse and mental submission.. And you need to seek help, you need to talk about it, so you can let it go, so you can regain your own trust and security, so you can put it behind you."

She looks at me once more, frowning this time a skeptical look on her and her eyes narrow.

"OK, What have you done to Dr. Warner"? And when did you became George's apprentice."

I struggle to understand the question and then I see her face breaking into a smile, a real smile, nodding my head, a give her a smile on return.

"So, that means I have to talk to George?"

"That would be a nice place to start, he can help you with most of it, you know? Him being the 'Head doctor' that he is" I quote with my fingers, managing to bring a small laugh out of her.

We look at each other once more, and I can see that our time is up; we need to return to our hectic work. Before she's out of the door she calls back.

"Melinda?"

"Yeah"? I turn my head to see her standing just inside the door-frame.

"Thank you" She said pressing down on her lips and nodding in my direction.

"Any time Liv." And then she is gone.

Again I wouldlike your opinion thank's for reading.


	3. Doudbts Elliot's POV

**Doubts Elliot's POV**

**Elliot goes to Olivia, to talk but he is having doubts about it, he also reaches the conclusion that his feelings for his partner go a lot farther than just feelings of friendship. **

**They belong to DW and NBC.**

**All the mistakes are mine, so no one to blame but me and Words.**

**This is the second chapter of three.**

--

**Olivia Benson's Building**

**10:30 PM**

I'll been standing here, in front of her building for the last twenty five minutes now, trying to get the nerve to go up there and talk to her and ask her what really happen in that basement and for the last twenty five minutes all the lights in her apartment had been on.

I need to know, otherwise I won't be able to sleep or for that matter live with my self if there is more than she is telling, I won't be able to stay at home and keep my nervousness from Kathy and the last thing I need at the moment is another argument with her.

I should've never gone back home, should've stayed at my apartment and just let more time go by so I could have work things out with the woman that has managed to capture my heart, my feelings, the woman that been occupying my thoughts, Olivia.

My partner and best friend, Olivia Benson, thought lately we been kind of distant towards each other, I know she still considers me her best friend and it was just because of the situations and me going back home, that our friendship's been kind of strain.

I know she wishes the best for Kathy and my self, and that's why she has pull away from me, that's why she volunteers to stay late so I can go home early since little Eli was born, she pulled away to give me space and the opportunity to reacquaint with my wife and family and I have done the same.

But when you fall out of love with your wife, there is nothing anybody can do to rescue that, you can't dictated the heart to feel something that don't exist anymore, can you? Or for that matter, denied the heart to fall in love with someone else.

When I saw her in the precinct and saw how she was trying to fool others telling them she was ok, I knew better and I knew that she was as far away from been OK, like me professing my real feelings for her to my wife or even to myself.

I saw her walk into the bullpen, Fin by her side after the mandatory trip to the hospital, I knew she would refuse to go, but Cragen just order her to, he order Fin to take her and make sure she was fine before she got out of the hospital, before either one of them return to the office.

I know of her dislike of doctors, even more going to the hospital, but according to Fin's explanation of what happen in Sealview, she needed to be check out, and Cragen hadn't take any chances, and apparently he had been right on his orders.

When Olivia had enter the bullpen, her walk was slow and tentative, she move with caution, not like the strong and secure woman she is, when she got closer to where I was, I had to practice the breathing technique Huang teach me, in order for me to stop and not go marching into the interrogation room Lowell Harris was been held and commit an act of murder.

She had bruises on her neck, her arm's, I saw her wrists, and they were raw from the restrain and pulling on the metal, on what appeared to be an attempt to escape them, and she also portray a big angry bruise on the left side of her face, the slime ball had punched her on the face, and those where only the bruises I could see, I don't want to image what other parts of her body got bruise, what other parts of her, the bastard had managed to harm and touched.

She tried to smile when she saw me, but her smile had been a ghost of the real one, and her eyes show embarrassment, sadness and emptiness, I turn to looked at Fin, and he just shook his head, asking me to don't ask anything, to keep my mouth shout, and they walked by me into Cragen's office.

I followed behind them, after all she is my partner and there was no way in hell, I could have stay out of that conversation, I needed to know I needed to hear her voice.

She fought Cragen on his decision to let Lake and Munch conduct the interrogation, there was no way in hell Cragen would allow me into that room, no, not after I had seen her condition, but what blow me thru the roof was her determination on doing the interrogation herself, Cragen told her, that was the last thing she needed, but she had insisted until Don agree, only with the condition he be in there with her.

What compel Cragen, or what he saw in her, I didn't know, but I knew Don had been right in allowing her on doing it, I was on the other side of the room and Munch, Fin and Lake had been there with me, waiting for the moment when things got out of hand, waiting to see if she needed me, but that never happen.

She had been her cool self, Detective Benson in charge, she had reel Harris in and she would have got what she wanted and get a confession, if not for the presence of Mr. Hunter, his attorney.

Just before the moron walk in the room, Olivia was face to face with Harris, after she had said something about Harris "manhood" and he liking men, he had gotten angry and push to his feet confronting her, face to face but she didn't steep back, she never hesitated, she challenge him with her eyes and posture, and I knew she needed that, she needed to feel in control.

I felt so proud of her, just like when Dickie hits a home run for his team.

But when Hunter walked in the room announcing that they had no proof for keeping his "client" in custody and had handled her the papers for his release, I saw her control and assurance slip away, I saw her lips tremble and the utter confusion in her face, I saw the hurt and the desperation in her.

She had assure Cragen that it was not over, and when he told her Ashley was getting worse, the look on her face was of pure desolation and anguish.

Then I saw her sitting at her desk, scrutinizing the mug shoot of Harris, she seem lost in her thoughts, and the only thing in my mind was to find out what had happen in that basement, Fin had said nothing, just gave me the superficial information, but I just knew for the way Fin keep fidgeting, and Fin isn't a man to be uncomfortable when asked a question, that I knew what had happen was more than what she wanted to let know.

So I had stayed and used the "Avoiding dipper duty" excuse, pathetic as it sounded but the only reason for me to still be in the office was, in reality to be there for her.

She said she was fine, that she was Ok, but she was not, she was other than fine.

An then when we finally had what we needed to nail the bastard, when we where at Melinda's lab, she had keep her face and eyes away from him, not even when I joke abut _"his private"_ did she join in the joke, she was miles away, and then she wasn't there at my side when I took him to booking.

I call her cell but it when to voice mail, then I call Melinda and she just said that they had a talk and that she was doing better, I try to get her to tell me what they talk about but she just told me that it was a matter of Olivia's privacy, that it was up to her to tell me anything and that when she was ready to talk to me she'll do it.

But I can't wait for that, I'm not the waiting type, I need to know she is fine, I need to know noting more happen to her, she had gone home, she call Cragen and told him she was going home, he gave her a week but she refuse and only agree on three days. She didn't call me.

That's why I know something's up, she is not the type to just go home and nurse her bruises, because she is the hands on type, that's why I'm here now, I manage to get into the building, and now I'm standing at her door, not knowing how to star this conversation.

What let me think that she willingly is going to tell me what's bothering her? Especially, when I had managed to push her away for the last months with my actions and my "I don't want to talk about me" right now attitude? What in the world was I thinking when I desired on coming here?

Apparently I wasn't, 'cause I been standing at her door for the last five minutes and I know her neighbor next door told her I was here 'cause I haven't make my presence known, but she opens her door and just looks at me.

"Elliot? What are you doing here?"

--

Next chapter Elliot and Liv have a talk about the case and how it is affecting Olivia.

Whant to Leave a comment?


	4. The Talk

**They belong to DW and NBC**

**If you haven seen "Undercover" Be aware of spoilers from that episode here.**

**This is the continuation of Resilience or Olivia's POV. And finally we have the conversation between Elliot and Olivia.. (In my SVU Universe)**

**Again all the errors on this chapter are only mine . (Bare with me)**

--

On this chapter, the cursive words, are actually thoughts the characters are having in their mind while in the conversation, but don't dare to speak them out loud.

--

**Olivia and Elliot's Talk**

**--**

"El?"

_I'm brought out of my thoughts as I heard her voice again._

_"Umm?"_

"I asked what are you doing here? Are you avoiding diaper duty again?"

"No, no.. I just came by to let you know that Harris is locked up and that there is an investigation going, on Matthew Parker, the other CO at Sealview." _I respond the first thing that comes to my mind, her eyes and nose are red, she's been crying._

"I know who Matthew Parker is El!" _How could I forget him, the bastard had it for me since the beginning._

"But you didn't have to come all the way here to tell me, you could have call or let Cragen tell me, I'm going in tomorrow, you know? To finishes up my paper work, before I take my "force vacation time." _But I really appreciate you been here, I'm still scare out of my mind._

"I know.. I tried." He tells her.

"What?" She ask in confusion.

"I try calling your cell." He said when he noticed she is not following him. "Send me to voice mail the times I tried, I got worried when Cragen told me you came home." _Why didn't you call me?_

"Oh! I must forgotten to turn it on again, sorry about that, but there is nothing for you to worried about" She said avoiding his eyes.

They are still at the door an uncomfortable silence descends upon them.

"Liv" He try again, but she stops him.

"El, I'm fine! Nothing happen, I told you that already and you should go home to your wife and kids, instead of coming over here" _Please don't go._

He feels his blood boiling and his blood pressure hits a new notch. _Why does she always do this? Why does she always put others first? Not even after what happen to her, not after she put Ashley's well being ahead of her, does she thinks of her first, that's what I lov.. admired about her._

"The hell you are! I can see you are dealing with more than you are telling me! I wan to help." He said a little louder than he wants and he regrets it immediately, when he sees her recoil from him and she takes the stance of someone waiting to be attack and ready to defend herself.

Elliot shakes his head and stars again.

"Kathy and the kids are fine." He tells her, staying in place and keeps quiet for a second. _Please don't be afraid of me._

"I know he got to you Liv, I know you are not OK and that's why I'm here, I know something else happen to you in that basement, and before you ask, no, Fin didn't say anything to me, but what I really know is that you are not fine." She's quiet.

"I wasn't able to be there for you Liv, and you don't know how I regret that, but I'm here now." He finished and his voice has return to that caring tone, the one he uses with his kids, with their victims. _Please don't send me away._

The sincerity of his words unbalance her a little, never has Elliot Stabler has spoken to her like this, or at least it's been a while since he had shown so much concern and worry and it feels strange but also comfortable, she backs away from the door leaving it open and retreats into her apartment, he follows her, closing the door behind him, and steeps farther in the apartment.

**SVU SVU SVU**

She is sitting on the far side of her sofa, the TV on but on mute mode, a still untouched glass of vine on the coffee table, her legs tuck under her, he sees her and he notice she has a grey NYPD T-Shirt on, one that looks to big on her smaller frame, making her look smaller if possible, she has no make up on and he can see the big bruise on her left side in all it's ugliness, it has turn purple and greenish. _The bastard punched her really hard._

He also notices the marks across her neck, blue and black, she had escape a choking hold or something worse and he also noticed some scratches on her arms, really small but they are there.

She is wearing a pair of blue shorts and he can see some bruising there too, behind her legs, Olivia seems to notice his inspection and unconsciously pulls her jacket over her bend legs covering them in the process.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry." _Please tell me! Let me help you._

"That's OK, I wasn't expecting company." She tells him, as if this is the most normal situation as if all the bruises, her bruises are not important.

The silence wins again over them and Elliot sits on the coffee table, just at arms length. She doesn't offer a drink.

Olivia can handle angry Elliot, she can handle unstable Stabler and she can deal with his temper flying out of hand, but vulnerable, caring Elliot, it's another story all together.

"I keep wishing you where there." Her acknowledgment is unexpected, and she takes his breath away with her truth, it's so raw so honest.

"Part of me wanted you there." She keeps saying. "But a smaller part of me was glad you weren't there.. Because if you had..You've killed the bastard with your own hands, and I could not have been able to stop you..chain to the door as I was..You could've killed him and we'll be having this conversation in Rikers right now, and I don't think I could've be able to live with that too." _But I really wanted you there, I really did._

She keeps quiet and he doesn't know what to do, how to react of for that matter what to ask, but he doesn't have to.

"He got to me, he really shake me to my core and now I have to pick the pieces and. I don't know how to do it..All I keep thinking was that I was about to become what I had always been afraid of, a victim…_My mother_" And when she said this, her voice falters and is so low he almost didn't hear her. _Please don't think of me as weak._

"I know that these will get better, that I will cope with it better after a few days, but right now, I don't know how to do it, I feel like I'm about to implode, about to lose it all together, and then I won't be able to put my self together again." There's anguish in her voice.

"Liv.." He tries to speak but is like she never hears him.

"It is like part of me is gone, the stronger part and a totally strange woman has taken it's place, and I don't know..I don't know how to feel..I "

"Liv did he.."

"NO!" she interrupts him. "No." and she shake her head.

"Do you want to talk about it? Maybe I can help." _Please let me in._

"_All you have to do is let us in Liv" _Melinda's words come forwards and she makes her decision.

"I can't go into all the details, no right now, is to painful, but what I can tell you is that he didn't rape me Elliot, he got close, but he didn't, he beat me up a little and scare the living lights out of me, but he didn't got that far."

_He didn't get that far? He beat you up a little? Common Liv, it is more than that and you know it._ But he doesn't say it, he keep his eyes on her and just waits for her to continue.

"Fin got there, just when..when he.." But she can't do it, she can't tell him, not at the moment. "Fin keep him away from me, and all I wanted to do was run and put as much distance between him and me.. He got to me El!.. He is in my head and I can't do anything to make him go away..I think I'm going to lose it and he'll win, and I can't let him do that to me..I can't.. I just need time."

Elliot moves a little closer and he sees her move back, uncomfortable, hugging herself even tighter.

He knows that if he pressures her now, she will clam up and she will just retread into herself as far away from him as possible and he can't allow that to happen, so he does the only thing that, he knows will help her, he gives her time and space.

"Liv, I understand and I will respect your decision, but promise me, promise me Liv, that you'll talk to me when you are ready?" He searches for her eyes and she is looking strait at his.

"I won't judge. Hell I'm proud of you! I was so afraid he had break you, but when I saw you in that interrogation room, face to face with him, I was just so proud of you, you need to understand this. _Please believe me_.

"_I want to believe you." _She just looks at him wanting to believe.

"He didn't break you, he may have gotten in your head, but you are stronger than him, he is not here and he'll be send away for a long, long time, thanks to you, thanks to you Ashley is safe and her mother will get some justice too, all because of you and your determination to get the bastard."

"But he did break me El, he, I was a mess I couldn't help my self, I..all I could do was cry and scream and run.."

"Yes but in the process you manage to keep yourself save, you never gave up and you got him, he had all the advantage and even like that he didn't break you, you keep fighting." _Why don't you believe me?_

"All there is to do now is for you to regain you footing and heal. Liv you are not alone, don't let us out, let us.. let me help you!" He sees doubt in her eyes, something has changed, and he doesn't know what, but he waits for her response.

Olivia looks at him and scrutinizes his eyes, trying to fin out if she.._No she wouldn't have.. It's just a coincidence_.. But she needs to know, all she has now is a glimpse of thrust in her friends and if she can't thrust her friends with her "_secrets_" then she has nothing.

"Did you talk to Melinda?" She asked her tone harsh.

"What?" Her question is unexpected.

"I ask if you talk to Melinda.. Before you came here?"

"No..Yes"

"What is it Elliot yes or no?" She is getting angry.

"Yes I talk to her, just before Cragen told me you had gone home, I call her, I just wanted to know where you where and that you where Ok, and no she didn't say anything to me about what you talk about." He can see she doesn't believe him.

"She told me, you'd tell me when you are ready, but you know me Liv, I just can't sit still and wait until then, that's why I came." He doesn't know what to expect, but he waits for her. _Talk to me._

She can breathe again, he is telling her the truth. It's not that she doesn't want Elliot to know all the truth, she does, but right at the moment it is to soon, she needs time to digest what happen to her and then she will tell him, when she can talk about it with out feeling like parts of her soul and heart are chipping away in the process, she needs time.

"It's just that.. She said almost the same words.. Melinda.. About letting you guys in and about he having all the advantage, I just assume she had told you what we talked about and.. I guess my pride got the best of me. Sorry." _I'll tell you El, everything, but I need time._

He seems to understand because he doesn't question her trust issues and misgivings.

"Liv all I want you to know is that I'll be here when you are ready to talk, I know is not easy but you can trust me, just like you did Melinda, you don't have to deal with this alone."

"I know El, I know." She looks at him once more and he sees a little bit of her resilient self in it. Thank you." _You don't know how I needed you to come._

_**SVU SVU SVU**_

Her home phone stars ringing and breaks the comfortable silence that has follow their conversation, she gets up and goes to answer it, letting her jacket fall to the floor, revealing her legs, and once more Elliot is glad Cragen didn't let him go to the hospital to see her, because if he had seen her bruises, all of them; Harris would have die as soon as he had a moment alone with him.

He repeats his breathing techniques while lessening to her conversation.

"Yes.. Ok.. Tomorrow then, Ten Thirty got it..Thanks." She hangs up and returns to her place.

He doesn't expect her to tell him whom she talked with over the phone just now, but she does.

"It was George.. I have an appointment to see him tomorrow."

He looks at her and he is glad she is seeking help.

"Good, that's good." He tells her.

"El, is not that I don't trust you, is just to.." _Please understand._

"I know Liv, I do." He interrupts, and his eyes are telling her the truth, he is truthful in his answer and she feels relief. _Just remember I'm here for you._

Once again the silence return, but this time brings understandability and comprehension with it.

Finito

Hope you like it and if you did, you know what to do.

--

Also, I want to give thanks to all of you that have read and have taken the time to review .

THANK YOU SO MUCH!


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